Beyond the Pursuit - My 7 Step Happiness project

 I think everyone would like to be happy given a choice. It has also been well established that you can’t really pursue happiness, but rather it is the result of concerted action towards your most cherished dreams—or to put it another way, it is taking what life gives you and making the most of it.

As Aristotle said, "Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence."

What are the keys to happiness? Happiness has been defined as the progressive realization of a worthy goal, which means if you have a predetermined outcome you are working toward, that journey enhances your happiness. The other key principle to being happy is to not be attached to the outcome. Yes, we should set challenging goals, but if the result is something different, we should be detached and practice acceptance.

Another thing I have learned is not to label things as either "bad" or "good." Everything happens for a reason, and sometimes we don’t understand why. Only when we attain some distance from the actual event do we understand the reason for its occurrence and how it ultimately helped us.

One of the hindrances on our path to happiness is unexpected setbacks. Rudy Tanzi, professor of neurology at Harvard University, has a nice four-step process for this (I came across this in The Achievement Habit by Bernard Roth). First, stop yourself from doing what your initial reaction intended. Second, take a deep breath. Third, become aware of what you are feeling. And finally, recall a past event that gave you a feeling of peace and happiness.

There are multiple volumes of books on happiness. The one I like is The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. She made it a project to increase her happiness, and it was an interesting read, chronicling her methods for every month of the year. My happiness project is simpler, and I've come up with seven keys I need in order to stay happy.

Here are the keys to happiness that I believe can help.

Accept Yourself

We are all imperfect, and the sooner we realize that, the happier we become. First and foremost, accept everything about yourself. You are unique in this world; there is no one else like you, and there is no need to compare yourself with others. Once you accept yourself for who you are, you start to like yourself, and when you like yourself, you feel happy. A strong self-esteem is the cornerstone of a healthy personality. You have a unique contribution to make in this world, and once you accept that, happiness will ensue. Striving for perfection is asymptotic, as we never truly reach it.

Define Your Purpose

What do you want out of your life? Some people call this a mission statement. We know organizations have a mission statement, but individuals can also have one. I have defined my mission statement the following way: "My mission is to maximize my potential and help others maximize theirs." This surely helps in increasing my happiness level since it gives meaning to life. Our days are finite, and only when we are clear on why we are here can happiness be enjoyed. As Mark Twain said, “The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.” It has also been well documented that the people who have deeper meaning for their lives live longer and are happier.

Personal Activities

There are certain activities that make you happy, and the key is to identify them. Once you do, include some of them on a daily or weekly basis. For example, in my case, working out in the gym gives me happiness, as do reading and writing. These are things that take you out of your normal routines and relieve stress. Having interesting hobbies in your personal life also increases your happiness level.

Set Goals

I know there has been a lot of talk recently about living a life without goals. Some people have said that just enjoying the journey is the most important thing, as some say, “Take life as it comes." Yes, that holds true, but setting goals that trigger passion in your life surely makes you happy. The key to setting goals is to make them specific, measurable, and attainable. The last word is the key. Obviously, setting a goal like climbing Mount Everest may not be the best thing if you have never climbed before. But, for example, setting a goal like running a 5K would surely help in energizing you and your life. You can also set BHAGs (Big Hairy Audacious Goals) to jump-start your enthusiasm and keep you energized for achieving that goal.

Nurture Relationships

Ultimately, life boils down to the relationships we have at work, at home, and with our friends. In a highly information-based, interconnected world, we need to take time to nurture relationships to make them meaningful. Yes, having a lot of friends on Facebook is fun, but we really have to take the time to meet people in person and have meaningful conversations to ensure the strength of those relationships. We need to encourage others and make others happy. Having rock-solid relationships in all areas of our lives boosts happiness and also serves as a sounding board when we encounter the inevitable downturns of life. I love this quote from Albert Schweitzer: "Sometimes our light goes out, but is blown again into instant flame by an encounter with another human being."

Create a Positive Environment

There is a phenomenon called "emotional contagion" which basically says that we become like the people we associate with. One of the best ways to become happy is to associate with happy and upbeat people. If you have positive role models, you have a better chance at happiness. Associating with positive people helps us to think about the good things that are possible for our life and elevates our level of thinking. It also helps us dream of greater possibilities in our life. Also, keeping up to date in our fields by constantly seeking to improve ourselves makes us self-motivated and results in long-lasting happiness. The key is to surround our environment with the tools that happiness demands. Stay Grateful

This action is guaranteed to trigger happiness. Keep a gratitude journal and periodically record the good things in your life. I have been doing this for quite some time, and it has surely helped me appreciate the great things in my life that we sometimes overlook with our busy schedules. Another action is to be thankful for the life you have been endowed with and the opportunity to make an impact in this world. Developing a high appreciation for life is the surest way to the kingdom of happiness.

Summarizing, I believe happiness is a choice which each one of us can make on a day-to-day basis. It surely takes work, but it is possible. We can be truly happy only when we decide that we will be happy irrespective of outcomes, and no matter what life throws at us, there is a larger meaning to our life which is for us to discover.

Thanks for reading this post.

The views expressed here are my own and do not represent my organization.