13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do
Mental strength is one of the keys
to successful living. Can it be developed or is it something we are born with.
I do believe some people have mental strength in their DNA. However for most of
us it is something we have learned through our painful experiences.
There is a good book on this topic
which is called “13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do” by Amy Morin. Here are
the 13 things mentally strong people don’t do with my expansion on each of them.
They don’t waste time feeling
sorry for themselves – Self-pity is the least likeable in
any person. If you feel sorry for yourself you might be comparing yourself with
others whom you think are doing better than you. Instead get into the habit of
staying grateful for what you have. No matter what your problem is there are
people who are struggling much more than you. Irrespective of how many
accomplishments you stack there is always someone who is doing better than you.
Bottom line is you need to develop your self-esteem which will make you feel in
control most of the time.
They don’t give away their
power – No one on this earth can make you
feel inferior without your consent. We all have enormous power over only one
thing and that is our thoughts. Stuff happens but it is how we respond to the
negative event that will determine how far we go in life. You have to take
control of your thoughts and direct it towards positive areas in your life.
Your power lies between your ears.
They don’t shy away from change – With information and technology exploding from all angles
it is impossible to survive if we don’t have an adaptable mindset. The number
one skill needed for the next few decades is flexibility. You need to be ready
to change your plans with new information. We all like our comfort zone and who
doesn’t like to be comfortable. However with automation and AI playing a big
part we have to be flexible and adapt to the new world of work.
They don’t focus on what they cannot control – Everyone goes through problems. Even the people with the most money have some problem. The question is to first define the problem and then see if we can do anything about it. If it is a fact which cannot be changed we can spend some time commiserating but beyond that we should just accept reality and move on. It is so interesting to see how sporting legends just accept defeat and move on immediately to the next event. We all can take a leaf out of that.
They don’t worry about pleasing
everyone – Of course all of us want to be
liked and we are all nice people who never want to make other people feel bad.
I take this to mean don’t go out of the way trying to please others because it
never works. If there is a disagreement just keep moving on to something else
because everyone has their opinion. Please yourself first.
They don’t fear taking calculated risks – Of course any successful person would tell you that they would not have reached their summit without taking some risks. Boldness surely has magic in it. However this doesn’t mean taking unhinged bets putting your kith and kin at risk. Take calculated risks where the cost of failure is weighed and if the worst possible outcome is ok then take the risk.
They don’t fear taking calculated risks – Of course any successful person would tell you that they would not have reached their summit without taking some risks. Boldness surely has magic in it. However this doesn’t mean taking unhinged bets putting your kith and kin at risk. Take calculated risks where the cost of failure is weighed and if the worst possible outcome is ok then take the risk.
They don’t make the same
mistakes over and over – The only
thing that we should learn from failure is to not repeat the same mistake
again. We can probably make the same mistake twice if we are lucky more than
that is just not good. One way is to record your mistakes in a journal so you
have a track to monitor and learn.
They don’t resent other people’s
success – This is an excellent suggestion and
I take it to mean have an abundance mentality. There is always someone who will
achieve more than us. Let us congratulate everyone on their success and feel
genuinely happy. It is great to be inspired by someone else’s success but never
envy the other person. We don’t have a clue to what the other person is going
through or sacrifices made to achieve success. IF you are comfortable in your
own skin you will have no problem in appreciating others success.
They don’t give up after their
first failure – Never give up. This is the only key
to success. Look to JK Rowling, Steve Jobs and so many others. All of them failed
before they attained success. Dr. Seuss the famous author who has inspired
millions of children had his first book rejected 27 times. No one who has
achieved anything of significance did it without encountering setbacks.
They don’t fear time alone – If you want to get the
most out of life you need to spend time alone. Solitude is your best friend and
unless you take some alone time you can never unearth your creativity. Ernest
Hemingway and many other creatives were known to spend time alone. A lot of
them also took long walks to get their creative juices flowing.
They don’t feel the world owes
them anything – Your odds of winning the lottery or
a wealthy family member leaving an inheritance is probably 1 in a billion. The
only way we are going to get anything out of life is to give our best and work
damn hard. There is no other way. There may be many books which promise quick
fix and easy methods to make money. I don’t think there are any shortcuts on
the path to financial independence and really there is no free lunch.
They don’t expect immediate
results – Everything we want out of life
takes time. All of us do know this but we need a reminder. We can envy Sachin
Tendulkar unless we look the amount of practice he put in to reach super
stardom. Anyone who has achieved anything has done it through relentless
practice and perseverance. There is no way around it. We need to be in it for
the long haul. The law of cause and effect does reign supreme. You get what you
give and sometimes you get after a really long time of giving.
If we follow these 13 suggestions we
can become more mentally strong and get the most out of ourselves.
The views expressed here are my own
and do not represent my organization.
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